Monday, April 30, 2007


I'm Indian, so I love gold jewelry above all other precious materials. Even when sterling silver got hip when I was in middle school, or when other people had that platinum fixation in the late '90s, I was always 100% a gold girl. It was weird as a high schooler to being wearing heavy gold earrings when my friends wore fun plastic costume jewelry, so I've diversified a little, but at heart, I'm a total golddigger.

The one problem with gold jewelry from India is that the gold is heavy and can stretch your earlobes. At age 23 I noticed my piercings in my ears were getting a little too big, so I panicked and had to give them a rest, save for parties and the occasional pooja. A stretched out earlobe is only slightly less unseemly as stretched out other things, in my humble opinion. Yuck!!

On very rare occasions, I get loaned or given something really special because I am on television. I don't have a publicist or stylist, so often times it's just kind of a random nice person who likes me. One of these random nice people is one my best friends from college, Johnny Lee. Johnny was the head of our campus hip-hop troupe and was this compact, gorgeous little Korean guy who wore, like, Paper Denim, but this was like 1999. I wish I had a picture because he has these ridiculous arms made out of ropey muscle and all the drama-y gay guys on campus would like be crying about him all the time.

Johnny's going to business school out here, but for a few years worked at Ippolita, the dopest jewelry designer. I could never afford this stuff on my own but Johnny has lent me gorgeous stuff for awards shows and stuff.

Look how gorgeous this ring is. It's got the stacked-ring allure to it, but is grown-up because of the tiny sparkly diamonds on it. What a great piece to have in your collection.

Here's me wearing the gold and pearl earrings as pictured:

I look really dorky but I wanted you to be able to see the earrings and not my gorgeous face (for once).

Even better is that Ippolita does pearl jewelry too (my birthstone, ahem) but uses them in totally cool new ways, so it's just your typical preppy pearl necklace type of stuff. She does really cool stuff to pearls, like flattening them into discs and tear-drop shaped pieces with have the coolest opalescent sheen to them.

For: girls who want classic pieces, like bangles or earrings, but with a twist.

Price: $375 - $2000+ (Ippolita is a great place to find your girlfriend's engagement ring, if she's not into Van Cleef & Arpels or Zales or whatever. Also great for graduation presents for your little sister or birthday presents for your mom, girlfriend or sister on big bdays, like 18th, 30th or 50th. You honestly can't go wrong buying bling from Ippolita).

available at: and

Monday, April 23, 2007

"Deathproof" Couture

I recently saw Grindhouse.

It was one giant fucking gore porno movie. I enjoyed it a great deal, although to be fair, about a third of the movie I had my face buried in my companion's sleeve, I was so fucking terrified. I especially loved the dry and wonderful Nicky Katt, who has arguably the grossest scene in the film, and of course, the magnificent Eli Roth.

"Deathproof" was Tarantino's film, which was the second half of Grindhouse. I want to take a moment to talk about how fucking awesome the girls looked in this movie.

While they are still alive, these girls were wearing some of the baddest Texas shorts-shorts I have ever seen. The look of deep summer Tarantino created was so awesome, because it was girls in their twenties and early thirties rocking a mad teenagery look that is a cool update from the "shorts and wife beater and strings of chains" girls are wearing everywhere now. Check them out:

So, I now officially have Shorts Fever. Here are some of my favorites for the season.

These are my most prized possession of late, these unreal silver Mint dress shorts.

They don't nearly as cool in this photo. You have to go to the website and zoom in. You'll thank me. They are sick. I find myself zoning out at work while people are diligently coming up with Jim-Pam storylines and thinking about my legs in these shorts.

Forever21 has some unusual shorts too.

These high-waisted pinstripes look adorable with either a poofy little white top or even one of those ridiculous American Apparel leotards you always look at quizzically.

Dace made this shorts jumper that will probably be my uniform in the heat of August 2007. They make me wish I owned (and knew how to use) rollerskates.

Lastly, our friends at Charlotte Ronson, er, Charlotte, has come up with the best basic shorts for the season.

These casual khakis can be dressed down with flip flops or dressed up with kitten heels and a flowy black silk tank.

Good for: Girls west of New York City (trying to get my New York sisters to wear shorts is a total lost cause.)

Mint shorts: $260
Pinstriped shorts: $19.99
Dace jumper: $186
Charlotte Ronson khaki roll-ups: $180

Sunday, April 15, 2007

The Stick

In honor of the Boston Marathon, I am posting about my favorite running aid, the unimaginatively named "The Stick".

When I run my calves get sore and crampy. Oh man. The cramps are wicked, these insanely painful charley horse type things, where you can like, see the muscle curl up and die when you look at my calf. Gross. Painful.

I remember to stretch and I take potassium and it's not like I'm running some Kenyan amount, so I was like what the hell, make this stop.

But it all got so much better when I began to use the amazing The Stick. It's basically a long baton covered in heavy plastic beads with two handles on the end.

You massage it over your sore muscles and the beads use the pressure of your arms to really penetrate into your worked-out, tired muscles.

Have your friend or boyfriend "stick" you and it's even better. (pfffftt heee chortle! another plus to using this product are the endless hilarious innuendo jokes you can make about it; best name of a thing since the poop deck.)

Good for: people who work out who get sore easily or, like me, have a painful problem area. Also a terrific present for friends who are beginning to start an exercise regime, or just plain like massages and stuff.

Price: $40 (I love this company but they do try to make you buy a bunch of useless extra shit. Just get the plain old Original Stick and you won't need anything else, I promise).

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The Man Cardigan

I love cardigans on dudes.

I know. Every time I see some cute hipster guy rocking a cardigan, and like, smoking outside La Poubelle, I want to run up and smooch the shit out of him.

I think they make guys look so sexy in a smart grown-up-man way, the apparel equivalent of glasses.

They're especially charming on guys under the age of 35, because it's as though they're playing this sexy idealized version of "Dad". But instead of reading Fitzgerald translations of the Aeneid and listening to Harry Belafonte, sexy Cardigan Young Fake Dad reads George Saunders and likes Lily Allen and will of COURSE buy you a drink.

All in all, super extra hot and adorable.

It's especially nice when a guy lets you wear his during a cold movie or something.

The real question is: Will "Naked Post-Coital Girl wearing her Boyfriends Cardigan" become the new "Naked Post-Coital Girl wearing her Boyfriend's Button-Down Shirt"? I certainly hope so.

Girls? Let's get this thing started.

clockwise from the top:
Paul Smith cardigan eluxury: $300
David Chu striped cashmere sweater, $750
Marc Jacobs striped cardigan $96 (on sale):
Stock Military Cardigan Sweater urban outfitters: $48

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Dr. Praeger's Sensible Foods

Trader Joe's is everyone's favorite out here in Los Angeles. I like it too but sometimes I'm like, why can't I just find some fucking normal-ass soda here? Why is everything like creamsicle root berry nectar or whatever.

But really, there is not much to gripe about at Trader Joe's. It's super cheap and they have a cool rotating array of frozen ethnic foods. I like their frozen pastas, like their raviolis stuffed with any number of cool things from lobster to pumpkins. (One caveat though is that I heard that many of the frozen ethnic Trader Joe's meals have been yanked because of Listeria bacteria found in them which can totally fuck you up (I'm fine, by the way. Don't worry. God I love you guys so much.))

What I DO like picking up from Trader Joe's is the incomparable Dr. Praeger's Sensible Foods Tex-Mex veggie burger.

Who is Dr. Praeger? This weird dude:

I guess he looks like a doctor. A doctor of the evil-prison-doctor variety. Not sure why he chose not to smile in his press photo. But whatever.

Dr. Praeger's burgers are fantastic because they're not mainly soy. They're these compact little rich-tasting flavor burgers. The success lies in the fact that they aren't trying to taste like a real ground beef burger, the way Boca burgers try to. They're just their own awesome little thing. The ingredients are: Carrots, Black Beans, Onions, String Beans, Corn, Zucchini, Soybeans, Oat Bran, Peas, Red Pepper, Spinach, Expeller Pressed Canola Oil, Broccoli, Textured Soy Flour, Oat Fiber, Arrowroot, Jalepeno Peppers, Chili Powder, Garlic, Corn Meal, Corn Starch, Cilantro, Salt, Parsley, Black Pepper, All Natural Vegetable Gum.

Besides weirdo "vegetable gum", I'd totally vouch for all the rest of those ingredients. Also, they're kosher.

I don't even use a bun. But you CAN be totally decadent and melt gruyere cheese on them and some of those sliced jalapenos in water, eat them with a lot of ketchup. They taste good microwaved, but exceptionally good if you spray Pam or olive oil on a pan and get them really crispy on the outside.

At 110 calories each, you can eat two, a diet coke and a little salad and be totally full.

Good for: Anyone who likes savory warm things that take a minute to prepare. Also, if you are guy with not a lot of money, but want to make a yummy meal for a girl on like, your 3rd date, and you absolutely have no idea how to make stir-fry or broil salmon or whatever, this is a good meal for a guy to cook for a girl. It's not fancy, but if you make it look all nice she'll think you're completely cute for doing this. Especially if you remember to get like, two cupcakes for dessert. This also makes a girl have to come to your apartment, which is helpful for make-out reasons.

Price: $3.99 a box! (which has 4 in them!)

Get Dr. Praegers at any Trader Joes.

Friday, April 06, 2007


People say, 'Oh my god I just got back from Tokyo. It's like New York, only you feel fat as soon as you get off the plane." Now that I've gone to Work, the custom jeans shop in Echo Park, I've had the Tokyo experience. The dudes who work there are the remnants of an elite race of wide-eyed elves with ribcages showing through threadbare 'Bo Knows' and 'Button Your Fly' tee-shirts, and they live in a wood of hanging denim. When I walked through the door to pick up the jeans, the one who took my order earlier was actually wordlessly holding them aloft, having seen me coming through the window, apparently, like the jeans were Excalibur, or The One Blade of Lothlorien.

He made the hems brush against my ankles just like I'm pretty sure they're supposed to. And he did it as swiftly and neatly and unemotively as Legolas dispatched the war elephant being ridden by a crypto-African in The Return of the King. And some of the people who work in the store are in a band which is also called Work.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Mario Badescu Drying Lotion

There is little worse in the world than a whitehead.

Except if you are Indian and have DARK SKIN and you have a WHITEHEAD. And then you are forced to go on NATIONAL TELEVISION with a whitehead, and the person you're doing a scene with, Benjamin Joseph Novak (or "Ben-Jo") has PERFECT CLEAR skin and a total NAIVE INFURIATING ATTITUDE about acne, and he wrinkles and his nose and asks "what's that thing on your chin?".

I hate to say whiteheads are worse for me, but they totally are, you guys.

I have oily skin. For years people tell me it's good cuz later, when I'm old, all those oils will make my skin less wrinkly or whatever than the drier, porcelain skin of my white girlfriends. I think it's an Indianized modification of the saying "Black don't crack". But I also think it's crap because because by the time I'm old enough to have wrinkles I'll be dead from a coke overdose anyway, and technology will be such that my white friends can buy brand new faces.

What am I talking about...yes, pimple fighting.

Mario Badescu Drying Lotion. What a great little spot treatment this is.

It's a weird yellow potion with chalky acne-fighting sediment in the bottom of it. You take a Q-tip, push it to the bottom of the vial, get some of that gunk on it and put in on your whitehead. By days end, the whitehead will dry up and disappear. What I even sometimes do is pop my zit, let all the gross juicy badness ooze out, then smack a dollop of Badescu on there. It stings in such an awesome way, where you feel confident those bad acne particles are getting executed big-time.

You can even wear makeup OVER it, just let it dry first. This way you can fight horrible whiteheads all day, even while you're fighting crime or whatever.

Good for: anyone you know who breaks out. Probably should NOT give this as a gift.

Price: $17