Oh my god you guys

My love is like whoa.

Beyonce is just like a super-gorgeous regular human.

J.Lo on the other hand, is an ethereal bronze goddess. She was in front of me on the red carpet and it was so weird. People yell "Big smile Jennifer!" and it's like they're shouting nonsense words at this stony-faced Aztec princess. Her husband/handler Marc Anthony just looked so Rats of Nimh compared to her.

Both have amazing asses, and believe me, I checked.

And that is my Beyonce/J.Lo Golden Globes 2007 update.